I will NOT try to fix you
I hear people say this a lot. “I just can’t get it right.” When offering words of solace, all of it feels utterly incorrect. If you say, I understand what you are going through, you realize this can’t be true. No one can truly understand another person’s loss. If you say, I’m here if you need…
UnComfortably numb
Acute grief, the early stage of grief, is hard. While that probably goes without saying, let me add that for me, it was also very different from the rest. This may be especially true when losing someone essential to your life. A person who is so much a part of who you are. A person…
One more ride
My mom, Sharon, passed away on November 24, 2023. This is the same date, November 24, on which her own mother died 57 years earlier. We only learned of this synchronicity a few days after Mom’s death. It amazed me. It, somehow, comforted me. And it made me reflect, even more, on what had been…
Being and Doing
Do we always have choices? I think so. And I hope so. We may not always like the ones that are available. Sometimes, of course, we may feel limited. But even when something is thrust upon us, not by choice, we still choose our response and other related things that arise from the circumstances. Experiencing…
Oranges
There are all kinds of changes that can occur in our habits and abilities when experiencing the loss of someone we love. Grief can take over in unanticipated ways. After Tim died, I found reading a book to be immensely frustrating. It was difficult for me to concentrate beyond a few pages at a time.…
Truths worth repeating
I have been writing regularly for over four years and have published 89 blogs on My Heart is Riding Shotgun. Most of them are timeless. I can reread and often still find myself so clearly identifying with the place I was in when I wrote it, though thankfully, I am usually not still standing there. …
This new math is hard
Math, or anything closely related, was never an enjoyable subject for me. I was lucky though. I had one of my favorite teachers in high school for Algebra 1 and 2. Mrs. Bowman was tough but encouraging. She was the kind of teacher that I would work hard for and really learn from, so I…
An Unremarkable Story
Tim and I were in Sedonna for a few days to ring in 2013. This was a place we visited quite often. On this occasion, it was colder than we had planned for and in fact, it snowed. We stopped at a random, mom-and-pop outfitter store to get something a bit warmer to wear. As…
Let’s forgive them
Tim had been in the hospital for four nights. On the morning of the fifth day, we put in motion the decision we had already made together, to transfer him into hospice care within the hospital. When I reflect back on this decision, it’s impossible to recall the conversation around it. There certainly was no…
Loss is hiding in the trees
It was just nearly six years ago that Tim and I hiked in Rocky Mtn National Park. Instead of going to a main entrance, we chose an area that was actually only trail head parking. No gate. No ranger. And in fact, there were only a few other cars parked there. We honestly knew very…