Stayed at the party too long
When you live in the Southeast, you get a couple of nice snows each winter. Because it was infrequent, it always made me giddy. Even with just a few inches of snow most things shut down for the day, and it was always a good reason to play hooky, warm the house with comfort food,…
Turns, speed bumps, stop signs and green lights
In January 2020, I hit a car. My body, literally, hit a car. I was on my way to a yoga class. I parked in one of my usual spots in a busy parking lot, with multiple avenues for cars to traverse. Because I was a little early, I sat in my car for…
She has his jeans
I will be perfectly honest and say, there is something that I never understood until I was facing it. There have been countless scenes in movies, TV shows, and accounts from “real” people regarding the agony of dealing with a loved one’s clothes after they have died. I never understood this. It’s not that I…
It’s final
The Clerk of the Court has accepted and filed the final Accounting for the Estate of….and the Estate is now closed. I received this letter 16 months after Tim’s death. As the Executrix of his Estate, I was relieved that this process was complete. I had said out loud to Tim so many times in…
We never made it to Grand Cayman
If you knew exactly what your future held, and it included as much excruciating sorrow as it did immense joy, would you choose it anyway? If you were given the choice, and you had to take both or neither, would you say yes? Spoiler alert. I am mulling this over after watching, The Arrival. Not…
It’s now full
I have 15 journals. I love to shop for them. Scan the physical shelves. Pick them up. Flip the pages. Assess the type of paper. I love to receive them as gifts. And I have never filled one. Maybe because I love getting new ones. But mostly I think because I have never had such…
No Such Thing
My friend Chuck says there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes. I think he learned this sage wisdom from his father. The first time I heard it, I said, I like that! And I have repeated it to many others as well as myself hundreds of times. I like warm weather.…
Finding My More
You find a partner, you figure out how to support one another, and you shift and modify to make it together. It’s a fairly standard part of life. Tim and I both had careers that demanded a lot of our time. I took extra care of him on his particularly grueling call and post-call days.…
Nothing had stopped
The first night I had without Tim, I was in a daze. I was foggy. I was exhausted. When I awoke the next morning after 9 hours of sleep, I showered, got dressed, with no idea what to wear, and drank two cups of coffee. I then walked downstairs to my apartment rental office to…
Pause, for now
I have been posting in my blog every Saturday for six months. Like so much about these past few years, it is hard to believe. At the beginning of the year I felt the inspiration to put my yearning to write into this format. I was talking to a friend, about what, specifically, I don’t…