Turns, speed bumps, stop signs and green lights

In January 2020, I hit a car. My body, literally, hit a car.  

I was on my way to a yoga class. I parked in one of my usual spots in a busy parking lot, with multiple avenues for cars to traverse. Because I was a little early, I sat in my car for a few minutes. I sent a text and listened to a bit of CNN on the radio. Then I got out of the car, grabbed my mat and towel from the back seat, and turned around to walk the 100 feet to the studio. After just a few steps, I hesitated and looked both ways as I approached one of the main lanes in the parking lot. All clear, so I stepped forward.

Just that quickly, I saw a car approach the corner that I was walking toward, and without pause, continue to turn into the lane that I was now in the middle of.

I’d like to think that I am mostly aware of my surroundings. Don’t we all learn to do this as kids and then as young women, we sharpen our skills, especially while walking alone. So there I was. Yes, I saw the car. And in a nano second, I saw that this car was not stopping and was coming right at me.

My brain said, “you don’t have time to step back or to step forward. It’s you against this sedan.” I turned my body toward the driver. I squared off my shoulders and my hips. I brought both of my arms out straight, my palms facing outward, my ten fingers spread wide, like two stop signs. I yelled one word, HEY!  The car kept coming.

My brain said, “it’s time for Plan B. You have to hit the car or else it will hit you.” I am already in prime position to take a Wonder Woman leap, so that is what I did. Onto the hood of the car. A silent yell caught in my throat – you will not hit me!

I then rolled off the hood to the left and landed on the asphalt. Caught by my butt, my left hand and my right elbow. I did a quick mental scan of my body. I’m solid. I hop up, put both hands on my slightly bent knees and I forward fold and breathe, breathe, breathe. So much adrenaline. Another body scan, I feel a bruise on the ball of my hand and my elbow forming, pulsing, but I am not injured. I raise up from my forward fold, and the voice in my head said to the driver getting out of the car, “what the hell were you doing?!!” But that’s not what came out of my mouth. All I said was, “I’m okay.”

And I realized, at that moment that I was flooded with compassion for the driver. Could I have ever made that mistake? Yes. I tried to console her as she consoled me.

I was also flooded with gratitude. My hands were shaking. My voice was quivering, and I just wanted to go into the yoga class as planned and stand in gratitude. I wanted to offer 1,000 ‘thank you’s’ to the universe. So that’s what I did. But, in so many ways, I was doing yoga before I even went into the class, which is how it’s supposed to be.

I knew it then, and it became clearer after the shock wore off, this moment was the perfect recipe for a reminder:

• Are you awake to your surroundings? Are you prepared to respond to your environment? Are you able to keep yourself safe?
• Are you awake to see that you may be at a crossroads? Are you aware of the different paths available to you? Are you aware that there is more than one way for your soul to fulfill its destiny? Are you ready to make choices?
• Are you awake to your imperfectness? Are you able to show compassion when others make mistakes? Are you able to admit when you make a mistake?
• Are you awake to gratitude? Are you taking the time to say thank you for what you have right now? Are you willing to experience joy even when a moment falls short of expectations?

There are still things that I wonder about that moment. My body reacted. But reacted to what? Was Tim with me? Was there another spiritual defender who stepped in? Did my soul opt out of that one? “No, this is not the way we are going to continue this journey. We are saying NO to a broken leg or a head injury right now.”

You won’t be surprised to know that I do believe that we make choices, conscious and unconscious, to live out our destiny – this is a soul ride! It’s a long journey with turns, speed bumps, stop signs and green lights. I bet some of these moments pass us by without our knowledge. And some literally come at us like a speeding car.