Most things are temporary

Sustaining an injury such as an Achilles tendon rupture stinks. But it is not life threatening nor is the situation permanent. Let’s keep that in mind.  I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t drive. I couldn’t get in the shower. I couldn’t do household chores. But it was all temporary. Unfortunately, relinquishing chores was very temporary.

After Tim finished one load of laundry, he declared that going forward, he was sending it all out to a service. That was not practical enough for me, so I came up with a plan B.  A knee scooter with a basket, for me, not for Tim.  I was back on laundry duty. Now, in all fairness, Tim’s daily chores always included shopping and cooking.  He usually did more around the house than I in a typical week.  Laundry was just not his thing.

So, yes, this was all temporary for me. What can you handle if you know it is temporary? 

Lucky us. We have ALL been given a chance to practice. During this pandemic, we are squaring off with adversity and ambiguity. How do you tackle a situation that may be temporary but is extremely uncomfortable?

First, recognize your own feelings about what is happening. Acknowledge the range of emotions. Allow yourself to experience them – uncertain, angry, overwhelmed, tired, sad, anxious, relaxed, rested, energetic. It’s okay to FEEL.  Actually, it’s important to FEEL.

Second, focus on understanding and accepting how things have to change. What will you need to stop doing and start doing. This will help you get organized and stay focused on what needs to be done even if you don’t want to do it.

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Third, remember your strengths and how you can use them in the new situation. You may be facing something unfamiliar, but you have already built skills and resilience from other life experiences.

Fourth, look for the silver lining in the situation. This doesn’t mean only say positive things, even when you don’t feel positive. (Remember, we are allowing ourselves to feel the full range of emotions). It means look for the gifts. They are there. Do something with them.

Fifth, know that it is okay to ask for support. It’s critical that you make time to take care of yourself. Part of this is talking to others and asking for what you need.

Successfully dealing with these temporary discomforts is great practice for the things that happen to us that are NOT temporary. Having a loved one die is not temporary.

And you cannot change it. No matter how strong you may be. No matter how angry you get. No matter how much you pull up the bootstraps. No matter how much you wish for something different. No matter WHAT you do, there is one thing that is true. Death is NOT temporary. It is permanent.

So, regardless of how uncomfortable an Achilles tendon injury is, or a stay at home order is – it’s temporary.  Use this time to build your skills. I am personally grateful for the injury I suffered nine years ago. It has helped me handle the things that I cannot fix or cannot control with a little more grace.