I have lost my compass
I am a very focused person. I make lists. I write agendas. I put plans in place well in advance. I am always early. And I have a great sense of direction. Grief put me in a daze. Strangely enough, I was fully functioning. I was taking action. And to anyone observing me, I was…
Thank you
I bought a journal the day after Tim died. One year ago today. It was the only thing I was moved to do. I remember standing in Barnes and Noble, in a daze, scanning the wall for the right one. The most important journal I would ever have. I picked up the only one that…
Life in boxes
Why Colorado? Everyone asked. We were ready for something new. We love the outdoors, the mountains, the sunshine. It seemed to be the place that could please both of us. However, as much as we wanted it, and as much as we planned for it, it was a tough time. We were going through a…
Cracked wide open
Sitting in grief. Cracked wide open. Vulnerable to feel everything. And that is exactly where I wanted to stay. As I participated in this grieving process, I felt invisible around strangers. In public, I felt like no one could see me, because there is this entity that had taken me over. And no stranger knows…
We made it
Crossing the state line from Kansas to Colorado was the most emotional moment of the road trip. There it was, that very spot where the three of us stopped and documented our arrival in the Centennial Sate nearly 11 months earlier. As the sign streamed by the passenger window, I literally said out loud, “what…